weekends

so this weekend seems like a movie to me. there's drama, suspense, action, comedy, emotion, lots of tears and a bit of romance. do you ever feel like you're not in your body? like you're someone else? like you can see what's happening but you know you shouldn't do it? it's odd watching yourself do something knowing that you can't stop it. It sucks even more when you know that you prob could. i hate that i can't remember everything from sat. night and i promise not to let myself get like that again. I ended up hurting two people and all for what? just so that i could loosen up and have some fun? it wasn't worth it.

I tend to forgive people too easily. it also seems that i can hurt people just as easily. I tend to forgive so easily because i want to make them like me again. i don't wanna lose those people closest to me even if they do hurt me or i hurt them. somehow i always find a way to make it better. I'm just afraid that one day i won't be able to make things better and eventually i'll be alone. that's one of my greatest fears if not my most. i never want to be truly alone. im afraid that i won't be able to make it on my own. even though im quite independent i still have a layer of people supporting me and without them i would crumble.

It's hard to tell yourself what's wrong and right, what you should and shouldn't do, who it's ok to hurt and others you would never risk hurting. i find myself questioning what i do and what i think often these days. as much as i seem confused in my head i do know who's important to me and who i need in my supportive layer. there are a rare few that i whole heartedly trust even when they betray me or let me down and these are the people im most afraid of losing. these are also the people that mean the most to me and i never want to see them unhappy especially because of me. so now i am going to think more about my actions so that i can avoid all this pain i seem to be causing. it's funny how a little snow can change everything you know. this has been one weekend full of events and emotions that many people aside from me will never forget.

still friday...

so no bf this weekend. boo. but that's ok i'll survive w/out him. It's kind of a weird time right now. the library just emptied out w/ all the students rushing to print their papers before class and im left here surfing the web for about an hour before class. i keep hearing the buzz of my phone, the hum of the printer and the sound of keys being attacked my fingers. Sometimes you'll hear a brave soul yelling in the library. the one many of us just want to shut up but some of us perform better with noise (like me). So i'm kind of in this limbo of time where there's not enough time to leave campus but it seems like an eternity til class. Time seems to freeze when you want it to move and it passes you by when you would least like it to. Sadly it is something outside of my control no matter how hard I try to morph it.

speaking of time so much time can go on in a dream. I had an odd dream about an ex and it's really starting to make me question my feelings. I admit to myself that i was not happy the way things ended but I can tell myself with full confidence that i don't want my ex back. it wouldn't work out. things would stay the same and I wouldn't get what i want out of a partner. So why the odd dream? I use to try to analyze my dreams but now i just let them go because maybe if im lucky they will morph with my reality (except my nightmares which sometimes come true :/) So i'm going to put my pink sunglasses back on in fifty mins and sit for about an hour and listen to people talk about children and what they think. don't even get me started. i have a hard enough time figuring myself out.

p.s. check out this site http://www.flickr.com/photos/prettypony/ the artwork is amazing

It's friday!

It's friday! yay! time to run all my errands. mostly just to the library and the post office to yell at people. today feels like a sort of odd day that doesn't even belong in this week. i think it's because i woke up so late. im usually done with my first class already. well I must be going. i gotta try and get my money back and with the economy the way it is now that could take hours :/

UGHHHHHHHH!

so i hate the post office. they have left me in this horrible mess of not having a recommendation for my masters program and now I am scrambling to find someone to write me one. Oh how I loathe you! Why am I not more of a people person? poo :(

at least you can cheer me up a bit music

ok. i've calmed down a bit. So i'm really liking my society and education class. Not only did we have a great discussion about why teachers use purple pens now instead of red (kids get anxiety from red ink, go figure) but today we talked about how to help kids get their optimum learning without singling them out as needing help to their peers.

We mentioned mixed groups which just makes the less intelligent kid feel more stupid and the more intelligent kid feel smarter. I feel like of bad for saying less or more intelligent... anyway you can't single out the kids that need help either because then their peers will look badly upon them and they might even be teased. I could go on and on but i will stop for now. i gotta go. just think about it.

friendship (and the place we call work)

you never really know how strong a friendship is until it's tested. It's all about being there when they need you the most and i'm glad to know that my friends would do the same for me :)
well im going back to bed now. sweet dreams here I come!

just another one of those days

So... I'm in computer art 2 and my hands are covered in glue and tissue paper. today's gonna be a long day :/ write more later
oh and im starving! bring me a cheeseburger!

p.s. here is a poster i've been working on

ok lastly MY SCHOOL'S LIBRARY CAUGHT FIRE!!!!!! it's ok though no books were harmed in the process :)

long day

ok im tired so this will be short. Here are the highlights of my day:
roadtrip w/ friends but then we had to drop off mr. jasper to argentina sadly
ate ten dollar chicken salad at airport that had sprouts. it was ok. i was disappointed
sang my lungs out in the car and ate my body weight in junk food
had an impromptu photoshoot at the airport (now everyone prob thinks im crazy but w/e)
am now laying in bed and getting ready to pass out cus i have an 8am... yay me (at least it's watercolor)
so night all. sweet dreams go out to my man on the plane.
and to my $1.25 chai. you saved me

Yes, I am awkward

Ok so I'm Aimee. My friends convinced me to get a blog. Not quite sure why i gave in but it seemed fun and im always sputtering nonscence (p.s. i cannot spell worth crap) so I guess it's a good idea. I am currently attending college and working toward a degree in fine arts and I ultimately want to teach high school art. I work at panera bread (my second home) and therefore I eat WAAAAAAAAY too many carbs but i really could care less. But i've got to go for today because my friend wolfgang is leaving for south america and i've got a date w/ DC. So for now go out and have some fun because at least it's sunny today :)