i just can't make sense of myself

lately im up and down. today moreso down but hopefully that will pick up tonight. so i still don't know if stephen is coming to see me and its driving me crazy. i don't wanna be alone this weekend :( and the fact that i don't know where i stand with matt is driving me crazy even though i thought i could just forget about it. my stupid brain won't let me. oh well. i gotta go hop in the shower and get rid of the stale bread smell. ugh i swear give me bleach anyday, a sweat sock idc just not the smell of panera. ughhhhh (shudders)